Hercules In New York (1969)

Directed by: Arthur A. Seidelman

Starring: Arnold Schwarznegger


  • "Boys! Girls! It's Big Fun!"
  • "See Him Topple Two Ton Newspaper Rolls! See Him Toss Tough Men Like Toothpicks!"
  • "Arnold's Original Classic!"
  • "It's Tremendous!! It's Stupendous!! It's Fun!!"
  • "The Legendary Hero..."
  • "The movie with MUSCLE"

Hercules hides from no man!


  • "Hercules: Hercules has no need of money!"
  • "Hercules: Bucks? Doe? What is all this zoological talk about male and female animals?"
  • "Hercules: [throwing an attacking robber aside] How dare you touch Hercules"
  • "Hercules: [Grabs forklift truck, stopping it dead] A fine chariot... but where are your horses?"
  • "Hercules: Hercules hides from no man!"

I came over this film shortly after Arnold became governor in Los Angeles and on the cover it said: "now with undubbed version". My instincts told me that this just had to be bad. Apparantly I was right.
When this film first came out, they had to dub Arnold because of his terrible and non-understandable english (now I understand why he didnt say much in the "Conan The Barbarian" series), something that makes this a legendary b-movie.
This is Arnolds first motion picture and it is so bad that it becomes so funny. We had to have our own "Hercules in New York" parties. At these gatherings we watched this film in my mums basement drinking beer.
This film has it all, humans in bear costumes playing... you guessed right... a bear, romance, flexing muscles, stubborn semi-gods, fork lifts and pretzels just to name a few...
Arnold is so unique and funny in this film and in his own strange way, charming. This film has alot in common with Tommy Wiseau's "The Room", and I think the only difference is the budget (Wiseau spent about $ 7 000 000 to complete his artwork). Some parallels between those two movies are:

  1. the lamguage barriere with the main characters
  2. one song played in loop as the soundtrack throughout the whole movie
  3. stiff acting
  4. bad wardrobes
  5. bad writing
  6. so bad that it becomes so funny that it makes you want to piss your pants (or puke 10 times)

Another parallel between those movies is that I just have to give this one as well... 10/10 pukes.

P.S: This film became a classic before they even made it, and thank god for movies like this. Raise your glasses and salute for "Hercules in New York". B-movie fans should be ashamed to not have this one in their shelves.

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30, Sandnes

Well, this blog will be mostly in English, maybe part broken Inglish since na me de be halfway Naijan (Nigerian). But before I go any further I just want to take my time and thank you all for stopping by this blog. I am David, half white half black, I rap, do martial arts and I am totally in to art. (Not that spiritual kind of shit where u trace a line and felt the connection between the earth and universe doing it... fuck that.). Enjoy my blog