"The Suit: I detect no intelligent life forms in our sector. Jordan Strider: That better not be an attempt at humor. "
"Jun'hee: What are you doing? Jordan Strider: Enjoying the view."
Monkeybwoy: In the not-so-distant future, Captain Jordan Strider, a Special Forces Officer in the New World Alliance, is chosen for a top-secret mission. Sent to a desolate planet to arrest possible traitors to the Alliance, Strider must survive with only a government issued experimental suit as protection. Eventually Strider discovers that he has been double crossed: The mission is an experiment to test the suit, which he cannot take off. This is a perfect film to watch on a sunday afternoon while hung over. Order a pizza, with some soda, maybe some chip 'n' dip for desert. It is easygoing, entertaining, and the special effects reminds me of those in Playstation 2. The plot is simple and it is a futuristic adventure. Don't trust the acting because it is not good... at all...
?the acknowledged smoking gun behind the ?body count? movie phenomenon of the 1980s, which continues to dominate the horror genre two decades later with such films as Scream, I Know What You Did Last Summer, and their respective sequels.? -Tim Lucas-
Directed by: Mario Bava
Starring: Claudine Auger, Luigi Pistilli, Claudio Camaso
Tagline(s):
The second movie rated "V" for violence.
They came to play, they stayed to die.
13 Characters, 13 Murders
Terror Flows Deep
diabolical! fiendish! Savage... YOU MAY NOT WALK AWAY FROM THIS ONE!
the first motion picture to require a face to face warning* may be the last shock film you will ever want to see! -- * Every ticket holder must pass through The Final Warning Station. We must warn you face-to-face!
Monkeybwoy: An elderly heiress is killed by her husband who wants control of her fortunes. What ensues is an all-out murder spree as relatives and friends attempt to reduce the inheritance playing field, complicated by some teenagers who decide to camp out in a dilapidated building on the estate. This film goes by many titles, so many that it is probably known by more titles than any other movie ever released. the best-known title is Twitch of the Death Nerve. In Italy, the pre-production draft screenplay was called Odore di Carne ("The Stench of Flesh"), but the shooting title was originally Cosi imparano a fare i cattivi ("Thus Do We Live To Be Evil"), which was soon changed to Reazione a catena ("Chain Reaction"). After production was completed, it was announced as Antefatto ("Before the Fact"), but when finally released to theatres, the title had changed once again, this time to Ecologia del delitto ("The Ecology of Murder"). In the United States, it was originally released as Carnage, then retitled Twitch of the Death Nerve. It is also known as Bay of Blood (or A Bay of Blood), Last House on the Left ? Part II (or Last House ? Part II), and New House on the Left. In the UK, it was released as Bloodbath. The Internet Movie Database also lists Bloodbath Bay of Blood and Bloodbath Bay of Death as alternate titles. Easily Bava?s most intensely violent film, its emphasis on graphically bloody murder set pieces was hugely influential on the slasher and splatter films that would follow a decade later. In 2005, the magazine Total Film named Twitch of the Death Nerve one of the 50 greatest horror films of all time. With this films "gore", nicely done special effects (remember, this was released in 1971) and the strange camera angels, I would say it was a good b-movie experience.
I give this film 6/10 pukes
Fun Facts:
This was actually shot on a piece of private property with few trees, but because of Bava's camera work it appears to have been shot in a large, wooded area.
When Christopher Lee (Lord Of The Rings, Star Wars) first saw this movie he was reportedly so disgusted at the level of violence he left the theater in protest.
Mario Bava deeply regretted filming the scene where a bug is pinned alive.
One of the re-release titles for this film was "The Last House on the Left Part II", even though this film has nothing to do with Wes Craven's The Last House on the Left. In fact it was made a year earlier than "Last House".
Reportedly has more alternate titles that any other movie.
Due to the film's low budget the tracking shots were done with a child's toy wagon.
The film not only had numerous release titles, but also had several working titles throughout the production. Among them were 'The Stench of Flesh', 'Thus Do We Live To Be Evil', and 'That Will Teach Them To Be Bad'. The title was finally settled on as Reazione a catena (meaning Chain Reaction) for its original release.
he origin of the film was Mario Bava's desire to work with actress Laura Betti again. Betti had previously appeared in Bava's Il rosso segno della follia and the two had gotten along so well that they concocted the premise of this film for another project together.
The shooting locations didn't have woods so director Bava created the 'woods' in the film by setting up tree branches to pass through the camera shots. According to actress Laura Betti the trickery would look so silly during shooting that the cast and crew would often laugh hysterically.
Due to the film's low budget, most of the locations in the film belonged to director Mario Bava or members of the crew. The interiors of Countless Federica's home was shot at a favorite villa of director Bava and the interiors of Frank Ventura's country house were shot at a summer home of the producer.
Mario Bava's personal favorite of all the films he made.
Friday the 13th Part 2 takes two murders from this film, almost shot for shot. The locations of both films look similar.
Dario Argento loved the film so much, he had a friend (who was a projectionist) steal him a print of the film during its first run in Italy. The theater ended up showing Hatchet for a Honeymoon to replace the stolen print for the remainder of the films run there (about a week and a half according to Argento. He still possess the print to this day).
Mario Bava personally suggested the title Twitch of the Death Nerve for the American release after hearing it was being marketed as a sequel. The film was released under both titles.
The Countess's suicide note reads, "February 13th. It is over. I am tired. My life no longer has meaning."
Goofs:
The Count is stabbed repeatedly in his back and then he falls on his back and dies. When the killer is dragging him away, there should be a blood trail leading from The Countess to the door.
Starring: John Call, Leonard Hicks and Vincent Beck
Tagline(s):
Blast off for Mars... with Santa and a pair of Earth kids! Blast off for Mars... with Santa and a pair of Earth kids! Science-Fun-Fiction at its height!
Santa Claus saves Christmas for the Children of the World!
Santa Kidnapped by the Martians! Out-of-this-world fun 'n' action...as two Earth Kids are whisked away with him to Mars!
SEE: The Martians Kidnap Santa! Santa's North Pole Workshop! The Fantastic Martian Toy Factory! Earth Kids Meeting with Martian Kids! Space-ship Journey from Earth to Mars! Santa Turn Mars-Robot Into a Mechanical Toy!
Blast off for Mars... with Santa and a pair of Earth kids!
Santa Brings Christmas Fun to Mars!
Quotes:
"Billy: You'll never get away with this, you Martian! "
"Kimar: Dropo, you are the laziest man on Mars. Why are you sleeping during working hours? Dropo: I wasn't sleeping, chief. It's just that I haven't been able to sleep these last few months. I forgot how. So I was just practicing."
"Betty: What are those funny things sticking out of your head? Rigna: Those are our antennae. Betty: Are you a television set?"
"Kimar: How are you feeling today? Tired? Santa Claus: Oh, no, I'm not tired. But my finger is."
"Santa Claus: Oh me, oh my, oh me!"
"Santa Claus: No siree! We're going out the good ol' fashioned way. Prancer and Dancer and Donder and Blitzen, and Vixen and Nixon... oh, consarnit I get those names mixed up, but the KIDS know their names."
"Andy Henderson: What is this strange looking creature over here? Santa Claus: Oh, Winky made that. That's his idea of a Martian. Andy Henderson: A Martian? Wow-wee-wow! I'd hate to meet a creature like that on a dark night."
"[Voldar doesn't think it's worth the trouble to kidnap Santa Claus and fly him to Mars] Voldar: All this trouble over a fat little man in a red suit!"
"Kimar: Santa, you will never return to Earth, you belong to Mars now. Santa Claus: Ho Ho, Hooo..."
"Rigna: Chochem is eight hundred years old, you can't dismiss the wisdom of centuries. Voldar: I can."
"Santa Claus: Ho ho, we meet again, eh?"
"Kimar: Chochem! Chochem! Are you here? Ancient one of Mars, I call upon you."
"Hargo: What's soft and round and you put it on a stick and you toast it in a fire, and it's green? Kimar: I don't know what? Hargo: A Martian mellow."
"TV News Announcer: [News report after Santas disappearance] And Mrs. Claus has positively identified the kidnappers as Martians."
"Santa Claus: Well, when Voldar "accidentally" left us in the airlock and then came up here and "accidentally" threw the door switch, we knew we had to get out of there in a hurry or that would be the end of us. Eh, uh, "accidentally," of course."
"TV News Announcer: Here's another UFO Bulletin: The Defense Department has just announced that the unidentified flying object suddenly disappeared from our radar screen. They believe the object has either dissintegrated in space, or it may be a space ship from another planet which has the ability to nullify all radar beams."
"Voldar: If we take them with us to Mars, Santa's disappearance will remain a mystery. No one on Earth will ever know that Santa Claus was kidnapped by Martians."
Monkeybwoy: What can I say? Where to start?... I have known of this film for quite some while now, seen the trailer and some clips here and there. My original plan was to watch this so that it would be on my blog on christmas eve, but due to some preparations etc, I didn't find the time. This 1964 film is one of the worst movies ever made. The plot is pretty simple, martians, upset that their children have become obsessed with TV shows from Earth which extol the virtues of Santa Claus, start an expedition to Earth to kidnap the one and only Santa. While on Earth, they kidnap two lively children that lead the group of Martians to the North Pole and Santa. The Martians then take Santa and the two children back to Mars with them. Voldar, a particularly grumpy Martian, attempts to do away with the children and Santa before they get to Mars, but their leader Lomas stops him. When they arrive on Mars, Santa, with the help of the two Earth children and a rather simple-minded Martian lackey, overcomes the Martians by bringing fun, happiness and Christmas cheer to the children of Mars. This film is so weird in everything, and it is a trip so funny you don't need to get high or drunk...
I give this film 10/10 pukes. B-movie collectors. Get this shit... NOW!!!
This film has been named one of the worst films ever and a remake has been rumored since 2000 with David Zucker as producer and Jim Carrey attached to play Dropo, though it is currently believed to be in development hell (meaning the project is "frozen" for now). What I also found pretty funny was that in 1993 a theatrical production of Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, the Musical premiered at the Factory Theatre in Chicago, adapted and directed by Sean Abley. In 2006 a second theatrical production premiered at the Maverick Theater in Fullerton, California, this version was adapted by Brian Newell and Nick McGee. The Maverick's production has become a comedic success, a local tradition and performed every holiday season there since 2006.
Fun Facts:
The Martian guns are actually painted Whammo Air Blasters.
This was Pia Zadora's debut. (Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Impact)
Most of the film was shot in an abandoned aircraft hangar on Long Island, New York.
This film is listed among The 100 Most Amusingly Bad Movies Ever Made in Golden Raspberry Award founder John Wilson's book THE OFFICIAL RAZZIE® MOVIE GUIDE.
One of the films included in "The Fifty Worst Films of All Time (and how they got that way)" by Harry Medved and Randy Lowell.
When Santa starts making toys, one of the Martians is fascinated by a toy that's "a coiled spring that walks down stairs." The year this film was released (1964) was a huge year for Slinky, which had a resurgence in the early 1960s.
Most of the cast came from Broadway shows of the time.
A single issue comic book adaptation of the film was published by Dell Comics.
Brazilian comedy group Hermes & Renato spoofed the film in their MTV program Tela Class, redubbing it as "Santa Claus e o pozinho mágico" (Santa Claus and the Magic Powder; "magic powder" being more loosely translated here as "angel dust"). In this version, Santa is a drug dealer.
Goofs:
Though the KIDTV reporter is introduced by the Anchorman as "Andy Henderson", Santa refers to him as "Andy Anderson".
One of the newspaper headlines after the abduction sequence says that Santa has been "Kidnaped".
In the beginning credits, instead of costume designer, it says "custume designer".
When Stobo looks in on the toy fight, the popping sounds and flying projectiles suddenly cease (film was stopped to put the ball in his mouth).
The bear costume's head piece can clearly be seen draped over the body.
In the Polar Bear sequence where the costume is clearly a bear-rug draped over someone's body the back legs are the same way a man's are when crawling with his knees on the ground and shins to feet level with the floor.
Most of the newspapers that flash by say nothing about Santa being kidnapped. Some are merely foreign language papers.
A group of popular students play a cruel prank on a shy nerd resulting in a terrible accident. Years later a reunion is held where each of the students face a stalker killer who may be the same nerd out for revenge. The producers of this film initially intended to call it April Fool's Day, but renamed it after learning of Paramount's same-titled slasher film scheduled for release the same year. The film was shot in England, and many of the actors use fake American accents. The original music score was composed by Harry Manfredini, of Friday the 13th fame.
I just love this film. Anything that involves a nerd, gay, blonde, fat, ugly, aliens etc seeking revenge is cool. I mean they are all people to (maybe except aliens) and they are considered a week link in society for some. Maybe not for the directors/writers making/writing these kind of movies.. The sad thing about this film is that Simon Scuddamore, who plays the film's slasher, committed suicide shortly after production of the film.
I give this classic 8/10 pukes
Simon Scuddamore (1956 - 1984):
Simon Scudamore was born on April 15, 1956 in Westminster, London, England. He was the son of James and Pauline Scudamore and had two brothers named Nick and Matthew. He worked at a school for deprived children. Scudamore's sole acting role in a movie was a substantial part as vengeful and disfigured persecuted nerd Marty Rantzen in the enjoyably gruesome and nasty horror slasher cult favorite "Slaughter High." Scudamore was not available on weekends while Slaughter High was being filmed, due to the fact that he helped out at a school for deprived children. Sadly, he committed suicide at age 28 on November 21, 1984 in London, England. Death resulted from an apparently intentional drug overdose.
Goofs:
When Ted finds his old shoes in his locker, he hands them to Skip and says "There you go Skip - You're always borrowing from me anyway...". Yet, his mouth doesn't move.
The students are supposedly attending their 10-year reunion, which would mean they graduated in 1976, yet there is a reference to their being the class of 1980.
When Marty is talking to Caroline while he gets undressed, he just takes off his shirt. He clearly has his jeans on in that entire part. He then rips open the curtains and still has his jeans on, yet in the next cut, in which the camera is in front of him, he is completely naked, no clothes whatsoever.
When Marty comes out of the locker room after throwing up, the tissues he is holding switch from his left hand to his right hand and back.
Right before Ted chugs the beer, his shirt is buttoned up all the way. In the next shot, it is partially unbuttoned.
Right before the accident Marty is wearing a letterman jacket then when he is splashed with the acid he is no longer wearing the jacket.
When the bullies are manhandling Marty and dunking him in the toilet at the beginning, Marty has been replaced by a very obvious mannequin.
Starring: Tanya Roberts, Ted Wass and Donovan Scott
Tagline(s):
She'll fight like a tigress to save the land she loves...
She is an ancient prophecy fulfilled. A golden God-child possessed with a mystic gift. A gift which grew in strength as she grew in years. A gift about to be put to the ultimate test: Innocence against Evil.
She alone has the power to save Paradise.
Part Animal. Part Legend. All Woman.
When paradise became a battleground, she led the fight for survival!
Quotes:
"Sheena: See! See! Even in chains, we can defeat them! Turn your minds back, oh my people. Remember yourselves- a thousand, a thousand moons ago! Bring your bows! Chief Harumba- Attack!"
"Sheena: I am not a foolish young girl. The Shaman taught me that brave tales do not always have happy endings. I know what guns can do. I know that you and I may not live to see another sunset. Vic Casey: Mmmmm! Sheena: You are an enemy! Vic Casey: I'm what? Sheena: The Shaman taught me- an enemy is someone who takes without asking! Vic Casey: I'll ask then. May I? Sheena: Yes! You will be welcome in Zukuru! The head man's locust bean cakes- they will be your locust bean cakes! His fermented buffalo milk will be your fermented buffalo milk!"
"This movie is set in Africa and features tigers which aren't actually indigenous to Africa." -imdb-
Monkeybwoy: Sheena's white parents are killed while on Safari. She is raised by the mystical witch woman of an African tribe. When her foster mother is framed for the murder of a political leader, Sheena and a newsman, Vic Casey are forced to flee while pursued by the mercenaries hired by the real killer, who hopes to assume power. Sheena's ability to talk to the animals and knowledge of jungle lore give them a chance against the high tech weapons of the mercenaries. This film is exacly like another film I hace seen, the beastmaster. The only difference is the timeperiods. I got the impression that this would be more or less a big adventure but it disappointed me. I didnt like this and my advice is to stay away from it. Don't say I didn't warn you...
I give this 2/10 pukes...
Did you know:
This film is listed among The 100 Most Amusingly Bad Movies Ever Made in Golden Raspberry Award founder John Wilson's book "The Official Razzia® Movie Guide".
Producer Paul Aratow landed a development deal for Sheena, Queen of the Jungle with Universal Pictures as early as 1975 as a proposed starring vehicle for Raquel Welch. However, numerous script rewrites led to the project being put into turnaround. The project was picked up by United Artists, then after a failed script put in turnaround to Filmways (later Orion Pictures) where another failed script led to another turnaround deal at Avco-Embassy, who courteously released the project before their contract had expired to Columbia pictures. The first screenwriter at Columbia (in 1980) was Leslie Stevens. At Columbia the script was subsequently completely rewritten by David Newman and later tweaked by Lorenzo Semple Jr.. At some point Bo Derek was considered for the title role, and Harrison Ford was offered the male lead, but casting amazedly ended up with Ted Wass and Tanya Roberts in the role of Sheena. The production was green-lighted in 1982.
Jodie Foster turned down the lead role as she was busy studying at Yale University.
Animal trainer, wrangler & coordinator Hubert Wells once said of this movie: "We flew over an elephant, a rhino, five lions, four leopards, four chimpanzees, five horses and sixteen birds. It was the largest shipment of animals back to Africa and just getting all the necessary permits to bring them in and out of the country was a superhuman task."
This movie was entirely filmed on location in Kenya, Africa over a period of about seven months.
Wild animals attempted to invade the set at different times and because of this armed guards were stationed on the set to protect the cast and crew.
Tanya Roberts as Sheena is seen riding a zebra in this movie.
This picture's director John Guillermin once directed such Tarzan adventure movies as Tarzan's Greatest Adventure and Tarzan Goes to India. The Sheena story is often referred to as being a female Tarzan.
Prior to starring as Sheena in this movie, Tanya Roberts two years previously had played a similar leading role as Kiri in The Beastmaster. Both movies feature Roberts in a nude bathing sequence.
Goofs:
During most of the movie, Sheena is barefoot. When she gets to the Zambuli after escaping from the crashing helicopter, she has sandals. She is wearing those sandals when she pursues Otwani while riding on her zebra. After Otwani makes her fall from the zebra, she is barefoot again - the sandals disappear forever.
After the elephant crashes through the wall of the jail, the guards try to leave the room. Monkeys trying to trip the guards with a gun, drop the gun before the guards can trip on it, but the guards still fall. It happens about 36 minutes into the movie.
Starring: Michael Sopkiw, Valentine Monnier and George Eastman
Tagline(s):
In The Year 2019, The Future Depends on One Man.
Monkeybwoy: This is one of those movies where it is hard to describe what you want to describe. It is hard because the hero is a hard ass, but yet maybe to baby faced. I don't know. I think this is the hardest movie for me to review. After a nuclear war, society breaks down into two groups, the evil Euraks and the rebel Federation. A mercenary named Parsifal is hired by the Federation to infiltrate New York City, which is controlled by the Euraks, to rescue the only fertile woman left on Earth. The film is just filled with surprises... It is a roller coaster, but not that scary, you just want to ride it more and more. Eventually you end up staying in line for the same roller coaster over and over again, but can't really figure out why you like this specific carnival device...
This one gets 8.5/10 pukes
Goofs:
As the two then-surviving members of the Four Pirates of New Orleans push Parsifal's car over the cliff, there is a brief shot of what are supposed to be the driver's legs and feet working the pedals. The legs and feet are actually Parsifal's, not the driver's, as can be seen from the pants and boots.
As the ship takes off for Alpha Centauri at the end of the film, Parsifal and others are simply standing around on the ship without being strapped in. This is especially odd since the President has specifically referred to his inability to endure the g-forces during takeoff.
The scientist is said to have placed his daughter Melissa into hibernation to protect her from the effects of radiation. But merely placing her in hibernation would not protect her eggs from radiation damage, and the transparent cover of her case does not appear to consist of radiation shielding.
When the sewer rats are devouring a man alive, a close-up of a "rat" chewing on flesh reveals it to actually be a guinea pig.
Starring: Zoë Lund, Albert Synkis and Darlene Stuto
Tagline(s):
Crime Will No Longer Roam the Streets.
It will never happen again!
She was abused and violated. It will never happen again!
She's number one...with a bullet.
No man will ever be safe again.
Monkeybwoy: "Ms. 45", also known as "Angel of Vengeance", is the story about a shy and mute seamstress who goes insane after being attacked and raped twice in one day. She takes matter in own hands in the streets of New York after dark and randomly kills men with a .45 caliber gun. I just loved this film, the plot, the main actress and how the director use his imagination with a low budget film. Zoë Tamerlis Lund plays Thana, the main character in this film. The role was really made for her, I mean, she had this innocent baby-ish face that was just so fit for this role, that at some point you actually believe the film is "real". This is a film that I classify as a "feminist b-movie vengeance thriller", and it is filled with methaphors of a how the male gender are "pigs". If you have some feminism in you, watch this shit... If you're just like me and enjoys a girl power flick, watch this shit... If you want a different kind of movie, watch this shit... ... you will not regret it...
There is not really much more to say other than this film has a nice balance of something bad turned into nice in a brutal kind of way.
I have to give this one 9/10 pukes
Goofs:
One band member is playing the trumpet, but what you hear is obviously a saxophone. There is no trumpet sound in the song the band is playing.
!! The goof below may give away important plot points:
When Thana shoots The Photographer, right after the blood flies in from off-screen, the camera pans wildly and you can see a bearded crew member in a red shirt for a few frames before the camera whips back to The Photographer.
Did you know:
The name of Zoë Lund's character, Thana, is reminiscent of the Greek god of death, "Thanatos". Sigmund Freud used the word to refer to the human "death instinct", which leads people to take risks, seek thrills or behave destructively in ways that could lead to death.
Starring: Lana Clarkson, Katt Shea and Frank Zagarino
Tagline(s):
No man can touch her naked steel
Quotes:
"Amethea: I'll be no man's slave and no man's whore, and if I can't kill them all, by the gods they'll know I've tried. "
"Arrakur: You are much too beautiful a girl to let yourself be broken into food for the royal dogs."
"Zohar: [torturing a bound and topless Amethea on the rack] If it hurts, you have only yourself to blame. Every time you move, the machine is tightened."
"Zohar: [addressing Amethea, who is bound naked to a torture rack] You should be very proud. You are making a contribution to science. [proceeds to rape her] Zohar: Just a little more my sweet. Amethea: UGGGLLM! Oooohhhh..."
Monkeybwoy: A marriage is about to take place in a small village set during the days of the roman empire. The village is raided by Roman troops, and most of the people are whisked off to be slaves or killed. Three women survive and set off to liberate their people. When they arrive at the Roman city, they team up with the local underground to seek vengeance and liberation of the slaves. Imagine "Deathstalker" as a woman and you have this movie. It is suppose to be during the roman empire, but nothing hints to this, I mean when you see the costumes, the weapons, the roman soldiers... it has nothing to do with this time period what so ever. I believe it is a good thing... The kind of b-movie where they create a new world within a world, or the director has just been to lazy doing his research. It is entertaining from start to finish and is highly recommended to b-movie lovers...
Well, this blog will be mostly in English, maybe part broken Inglish since na me de be halfway Naijan (Nigerian). But before I go any further I just want to take my time and thank you all for stopping by this blog. I am David, half white half black, I rap, do martial arts and I am totally in to art. (Not that spiritual kind of shit where u trace a line and felt the connection between the earth and universe doing it... fuck that.).
Enjoy my blog
